Coping with Mom Anxiety on Your Child’s First Day of School

Starting school is an exciting chapter, but for moms, it can stir up a mix of emotions as the big day approaches. If you're feeling anxious about your child’s first day, know that you are not alone. Many mothers experience a wave of emotions! There are practical strategies that can help you manage first-day-of-school anxiety and turn this pivotal event into a positive experience.

Understanding Your Feelings

Feeling anxious when facing change, especially regarding your child's well-being, is completely normal. You may find yourself worried about their ability to adjust, make friends, or handle schoolwork. You may even find yourself anxious about their safety at school. These worries can cause distress emotionally and even sometimes lead to physical symptoms, like headaches, stomachaches, or short-term insomnia the weeks leading up to the start of school.

A study found that 58% of parents report separation anxiety on their child's first day of school, and 63% of parents reported that "mom is the most upset member of the family on the first day of school." Just knowing other moms resonate with your experience can provide some comfort. Acknowledging your feelings is the first step toward managing them effectively.

Preparing Yourself Mentally

Prior to the first day, take time to mentally prepare yourself. Here are a few techniques that can help ease your anxiety:

Engage in Mood Boosting Activities

It can be tough to maintain a positive mindset when anxiety feels heavy. Engage in activities that boost your mood. This could look like crafting a countdown calendar the week before school, in which you and your child mark important milestones, such as shopping for school supplies or picking out a backpack. Another option is to plan a celebration the night before school. This might be a special dinner, baking cookies, or having a small family gathering. This can help shape the experience of preparing for school to be a fun and positive one, which will improve your emotional wellbeing.

Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness practices, such as deep breathing or meditation, can keep you grounded. Spending just 10 minutes a day on these techniques can significantly lower anxiety levels. For instance, a 2019 study showed that participants who practiced mindfulness for eight weeks experienced a 30% reduction in anxiety symptoms. By maintaining a calm demeanor, you will help yourself and your child feel more secure and confident about their new environment.

Meet the Teacher

Many schools have an opportunity to meet your child's teacher prior to school starting. This often occurs within the few days leading up to the start of school. This can be a great opportunity to ease anxiety. When you get the opportunity to see who your child will be spending Monday-Friday with, then the fear of the unknown is lifted. Now you know your child is with a kind and caring teacher who wants to help them succeed!

Set Realistic Expectations

Setting realistic expectations is vital for both you and your child. You may encounter teary goodbyes or unexpected challenges leaving you feeling guilty or questioning if your child is really ready for school. Remember it is normal for your child to have an emotional reaction about starting school. It does not mean it is time to pack them right back up in the car and take them home. So be prepared that drop off on that first day might be challenging for both you and your child. Don't let unrealistic instagram stories set you up to fail.

Make a Survival Plan

Before the big day finally arrives, make a plan for what you will do while your child is at school. Sitting at home and staring at your phone wondering if you might get a call from the school about your child will make your anxiety increase and the day will feel endless. Truth be told the school is not going to call you anyway! Here are some ideas:

• Treat yourself: see a movie, get your nails done, get that hair cut you are way behind on, or go shopping

• Socialize: call the friends you never have time to respond to, get brunch with the people who make you laugh the hardest, or hang out on the front porch with your neighbor

• Be productive: clean out the fridge, catch up on laundry, organize that hallway closet, or vacuum out those car seats that are filled with crumbs

• Exercise: take a yoga class, hit the gym, or run with your dog at your nearest park

Be Open to Connecting With Other Parents

If you choose on the first day to watch your child walk to their classroom and finally disappear from view, there will be a brief moment afterward where the school goes quiet. If you look around, you might see some excited parents. (These are the parents with older children who have already gone through dropping off their children at school many times before and now get excited when their child returns to school because it means getting a long-needed break. Try not to judge. Believe it or not, that will be you one day too.) You will also see other parents standing around not knowing what to do with themselves because like you, this is their first time at drop off and it is hard. This becomes the perfect opportunity to strike up a conversation. If you do, you will find comfort in community and connection as they share the same feelings you do.

Conquering the Aftermath

As the first week wraps up, take time to reflect and manage any lingering feelings.

Check-in Regularly

Are you still feeling emotionally overwhelmed or experiencing physical symptoms? Remind yourself that this will pass. Your child only starts school once. Like other big milestones that were scary (choking as they learned to eat and tripping as they learned to walk), you will survive this one too.

Address Ongoing Concerns

If anxiety continues to be significant for you, don’t hesitate to explore additional resources. Whether it’s reading books on coping strategies, joining a support group for moms, or speaking with a therapist, seeking help demonstrates your commitment to emotional well-being.

Embracing the Journey Ahead

Feeling anxious about your child's first day of school is completely understandable. You're part of a shared experience with many other moms. By using the techniques above, you'll better prepare for this new chapter. So take a deep breath, focus on the excitement ahead, and nurture the bond you share with your child during this time of change.